Anxious for races

A lot of people asked me why I want to go to races. Running races that is. Since I got back int he country I also get the question: “how many did you win?” or something similar. It is not about wining.

I need races for 2 reasons: the first one is simple. I need races in order to be motivated to improve. I compete against myself, I need to get better, faster, fitter, with more endurance etc. In the process I admit I might compete against other people. I need to see how much I can endure, where is my limit and how much I can stretch it.

The second reason for me to be anxious about races has to do with my previous article “Running is a drug“.

Running it is indeed a drug. And I do have a tendency of overdoing in everything I do. I used to smoke. In the last period, just before quitting, I smoked somewhere near 3 packs a day. I had a period where I also drank a bit more than the normal. I overdid it there to. During my professional experience I had moments when I overdid it as well, working from 7 till 22,23 in the evening for long periods of time. I have this trait. Overdoing it.

If I would not have races, and the goals, and the training plan for me to improve, I would probably run everyday, twice per day if I would be a bit upset, or happy, or at any excitement I would have during the day. I would for sure over do it.

And I would not improve. And I would be injured most of the times, and I would be grumpy. Having a clear goal, and realising that I can attain it just by being disciplined and respecting a plan, helps me with day to day life. Professional and personal as well.

I will give you an example. Today I had bad day. At work was good, but after work I was tired and grumpy. I took my grumpiness against someone that had no guilt and now I need to apologise. I than had an interesting conversation, that made me upset with myself. The instinct told me to go and run. My brain tells me to rest, as Sunday I race. I choose to fight the instinct and there you go, I write again, instead of running. I get disciplined. I think, I plan and I implement the plan and hopefully on Sunday, if I get a good day I will be happy and proud of myself.

This is why I need races.

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